Now I Lay Me Down to Die
by cindy123
Summary: One-shot. Sam's having a really sucky night, but there's worse things than dying...like Dean dying instead. Just something that came to me and I had to write it down. A few swear words, but that's about it.


**So, yeah, I was bored. I was waiting to get off of work and then this story came to me. A half hour later, here it is! Just a quick little one-shot. Hope you enjoy :)**

**Cindy**

**Now I Lay Me Down to Die**

When Sam Winchester was very young he didn't have a care in the world. At least, he didn't know he had a care in the world. His father and brother made sure that the only thing he had to worry about was making sure he ate his Lucky Charms, and drank all of the milk, not just what was soaked up in the sugary oats or on his spoon, but what was left in the bowl as well. He had to finish all of his lunch and dinner and he had to brush his teeth every single day, no matter where they were or how late they got there. That was pretty much it…the rest, well, his family took care of all the rest.

When he got a little older, Sam had to worry about school, which really wasn't much of a worry at all considering he always loved school, but it wasn't really school he had to worry about so much as what he said while he was at school. He had to be mindful not to tell his classmates or teachers that he and his family moved around a lot and he had to keep the bruises and cuts he would sometimes get in the middle of the night out in the woods, or in a dark warehouse, or wherever his father's "job" took them, covered so as not to draw attention to himself or his family too much. He'd heard the words Child Protective Services and the way his father had said them with a hint of fear in his voice. Sam was always careful at school because Child Protective Services, whatever that was, scared him more than anything out there in the dark.

Sam always knew he was protected. His father and brother were fierce when it came to that. He never had to worry about anything back then, when he was younger. He thought about that as he lay here now, body numb and cold, blood covering every inch of him. He thought about the sacrifices his brother had made along the way to make sure that Sam was safe and warm and fed. He thought about how much he wished he could tell Dean just how much he loved him and appreciated every little thing he'd done for him throughout the years, but he couldn't tell him because he was dying and he couldn't talk through the blood in his throat and even if he could Dean wouldn't be able to hear him anyway.

Sam coughed and sputtered as he listened to his brother's anguished screams to Castiel. He wanted to tell Dean that it was okay, that he'd had a good life, considering, and that Castiel had more important things to do than to come rescue him every time he got into trouble. He wanted to tell Dean this, but most of all he wanted to tell Dean that for all the times his older brother had risked his life to save him, it was about time that Sam had returned the favor and that dying was worth it since it wasn't Dean lying on the cold, hard ground, shredded until he looked like hamburger. Sam wanted to tell Dean that, but Dean was still screaming for Cas and Sam was fading and pretty soon the darkness overtook him and he couldn't hear Dean screaming anymore and he thought that dying was pretty boring if that was all there was too it.

When Sam woke up, it wasn't to the mournful cries of the damned, because yeah, Sam knew he was going to Hell, but there was no unbearable heat or anything he would think he would hear or feel in Hell. He felt pain, but more the kind of pain of someone who had slept in the same position for too long rather than from being ripped to shreds by a black dog or being tortured by demons. He heard voices and shifted his head a bit to try to make them out and couldn't believe it when he realized it was Dean and Cas speaking in hushed tones. He couldn't open his eyes, but he could hear pretty good…something like "You made it just in the nick of time" and "I got here as quickly as I could", but it was the "Thank you" that Dean sobbed out that forced Sam's eyes open, an involuntary moan escaping as he did.

He felt Dean next to him in the next moment, felt his cool hand on his forehead. Then Dean was saying "I'm gonna kill you, ya little fucker, for scaring the shit out of me like that!" And Sam smiled as he drifted away, the words "Yeah, sure you will," escaping in a whisper as he was pulled back into sleep, once again wrapped in the safety of his brother's love.

**The End**

**So? Sometimes I wonder about myself ;)**


End file.
